"When's the wet t-shirt contest?" (said upon a woman spilling water down the front of her white t-shirt.)

- Guy 1: “How was the 3D movie?”
Guy 2: "I don't know, I couldn't pay attention because of DD a few rows down."

- Mother: "Wow, that sauce is really spicy!!"
Daughter: "You must not be a real Mexican."

- Guy: "I want some cock sauce."
Girl: "What?"
Guy: "You know, cock sauce."
*blank stares all around*
Guy: "You know the one with the green cap and rooster..."
Girl: "Sriracha sauce? It has a name you know. You're the only one that calls it cock sauce."

- “I’m going to start having to sell my body to pay for my bills.” (A guy said this, fyi)

- “So apparently they don’t do the turn-and-cough thing anymore.”

- “I didn’t do anything she didn’t deserve.” (When one guy asked another guy if he ever cheated on his girlfriend)

- “I don’t want to find someone to grow old with; I want to find someone young to grow old with.”

- “I hate it when you pull up at a stop light and there’s a hot chick next to you and then in the backseat you see a baby car seat.”

- (On Valentine’s Day): Girl: “hahahaha your fly is down!!”
Guy: “Your fault!!”

- Guy 1: “Wow, that’s really spicy. Did you hear that, my voice got deeper?”
Guy 2:”Yeah, maybe spicy Thai food will help you grow a pair.”

- “I’m telling you man, Whole Foods is the place to meet girls; they’re hot and healthy.”